Now come on guys... Think about it. I know her and she wouldnt just GIVE them just ANY kind of recipies. This was a "SPECIAL" recipe. MWAAHHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!!!!!
Ok gang, if you really want some recipes, I will oblige. Yes, in fact, I am a master chef in real life. Ok, no, not really, but ask anyone and they will tell you I am a darn fine cook, able to create unique and delicious recipes! Hey, I'm a villain, it is my job to exaggerate.
Try this one on for size, and I might post more later:
(BTW: I dont measure when I cook, I just add stuff, so the measurements are off the top of my head. Add however much of any ingredient you want. shesh! )
Wyloc's Mac and Cheese
Boil up a bag of mac noodles. I like the bigger ones, not the little dinky skinny kind.
To the cooked and drained noodles, add:
1 can of V8 vegetable juice (the soda can sized can...)
1.5 cups sour cream
3 carrots, grated up with a cheese grater
1 medium yellow onion, diced
3 largish cloves of garlic, crushed and chopped fine (not powdered garlic you *censored*. Buy a real live head of garlic and use 3 of the bits!)
a spoon full of Tabasco, or more if you like it spicy, this much will add flavor, not heat.
a bunch of grated sharp cheddar cheese. Add how much you like, some like it really cheesy, I like it less, so you taste the other bits too. a few cups worth should do.
now, put it in a 9x12 cake pan, or whatever kind of baking ware you have, and bake it at 375 for 30 minutes.
Eat it hot with Lawry's Seasoned Salt sprinkled on top. This is crucial! You will NOT get the full effect with out the seasoned salt on top!
Make it! Eat it! Love it! This I command!
but seriously, it really is amazingly good.
Oh, and if I post any other recipes, you will notice a lack of meat involved. Yes, some evil villains are vegetarians too....
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Now come on guys... Think about it. I know her and she wouldnt just GIVE them just ANY kind of recipies. This was a "SPECIAL" recipe. MWAAHHAHAHAHHAA!!!!!!!!!!
QUOTE
Cyanide Chip Cookie Pie Of Death
2 sulfuric acid containers
1/2 cup all-purpose neurotoxic poison 1/2 cup white pony
1/2 cup packed C4
1 cup depleted uranium, melted 1 cup semideadly cyanide chips 1 cup chopped toxic waste capsules
1 (9 inch) nitroglycerine loaded pie shell Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C).
In large mixing bowl, beat sulfuric acid containers until dark and steamy. Add neurotoxic poison, white pony and C4 and beat until well stinky. Blend in melted depleted uranium. Stir in cyanide chips and gunpowder. Pour into nitroglycerine loaded pie shell.
Bake at 325 degrees F (165 degrees C) for 1 hour. Remove from oven. Serve warm with whipped slaves or bones
Do you think it would be feasible to replace the white pony with an equal portion of kittens? You see, I don't have any stale white pony lying around and the party is tomorrow. I think the birthday lizard would absolutely love that pie, but I can't imagine getting my hands on that pony on such short notice.
3 large baking potatoes
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1/2 teaspoon hot sauce
1/4 teaspoon onion salt
1/2 teaspoon House Seasoning, recipe follows
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
2 cups cornbread dressing mix
Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F.
Wash the potatoes and cut each into 6 thick wedges. Mix the mayonnaise with the hot sauce, onion salt, House Seasoning and pepper. Coat the potato wedges with the mayonnaise mixture and roll them in the dressing mix. Place in a greased baking dish and bake for 45 to 50 minutes, or until the potatoes are tender. Serve with your favorite dip.
I use this for lots of stuff....it is yummy
House Seasoning:
1 cup salt
1/4 cup black pepper
1/4 cup garlic powder
Mix ingredients together and store in an airtight container for up to 6 months.
Ohh, those potatoes sound good too! Im gonna have to try that! I wouldnt have thought of using mayo as the binding agent, I would have thought it would curdle up when you cook it. Gonna have to have some potatoe wedges with dinner tonite! :)
250-300 grams (Mie) egg noodles (the throw in boiled water for 3 minutes kind)
Sambal Djeroek (Red chili paste if you can't get this)
one red pepper
400 gram assorted 'asian' vegetables, heavy on the paksoi and chopped up for eating. (We get them in vegetable mixes here. Use Thai Mix from the AH if you're Dutch)
5 grams of fresh basilicum chopped to specks
Australian Ginger chunks on sweet fluid.
Can of cocos-milk 300 cc
can of bamboo shoots, the strings, not the flakes. 75 grams
Cooking oils I use both olive and sesame oil, but if you're not used to either or alergic, don't.
Ketjap Manis
Prepping: Cut up the chicken in small slices.
Cut up half the red pepper in ringlets and add these to the chicken.
Marinate all that with two spoons of the Sambal, or chili-paste and some oil. Can use a dash of Ketjap if needed for the viscosity.
Put that away to soak for 30 minutes.
Poor can of cocos-milk in a bowl.
Spoon in the cut up basilicum.
Put in about a spoon's worth of Ketjap Manis.
Put in a spoon's worth of Sesame oil.
Cut up 3-4 Ginger chunks as small as is doable and add them.
Poor in a spoon of the stuff they're held in. Sweet!
Oh btw, you should have been stirring in between adding ingredients to the bowl.
Put it away for 30-45 minutes but remember to stir occasionally.
cooking: Put the chicken in a wok. or other high-ridged frying device and stir-fry it.
Have water put to boiling according to the egg-noodles specifications.
When the chicken's done and the water boils (ideally this comes together) put in the noodles.
Throw the veggies (including the can of bamboo shoots) in with the poultry and stir-fry for 3 minutes. Bamboo's the veggie that will best show and most important for 'done'.
Bank fires and poor of the excess water for teh noodles, then add them to the wok. Light up the flames again.
Toss in the contents of your bowl (after stirring some more) and let the milk almost reach boiling point.
Serve while still warm.
There you go.
Sounds like a lot of work but really isn't :-)
Go to your local store with your pizza stone, oven mitts, timer and pizza cutter and pick out your choice of frozen pizza. Head toward the checkout line making sure not to run into people or carts along the way. Try to get into an Express line if you can, but, ether way, be sure to have about 4 dollars ready in hand. Once the cashier asks for your money hold it in your hand for approx 1 minute, or until the people behind you turn red with rage. At this point it is best to hand over the money. Now, get to the nearest working oven in whatever way seems best to you (make sure to take all ingredients + frozen pizza - $4 with you). Preheat the oven to about 400 degrees (F) before donning your oven mitts. Take the pizza out of all wrapping (It's much more fun with your mitts on) and place it onto the stone. Then, place the stone into the now preheated oven. Set the timer to 22 minutes if you like your pizza softer, 25-26 minutes if you want it crispy, 90+ minutes if you want to burn down the building you're in. While it's cooking pretend you're a chicken by putting on your oven mitts and dancing around (this is crucial to proper pizza cooking so be sure to DO IT). When the timer hits 0 turn off the oven and the timer and take out the stone with the pizza on it (please wear your oven mitts). Cut the pizza with your pizza cutter and dig in (again, wearing your oven mitts)! Remember, safety first!
That is the culmination of all my years of culinary expertise. Enjoy!
Go to your local store with your pizza stone, oven mitts, timer and pizza cutter and pick out your choice of frozen pizza. Head toward the checkout line making sure not to run into people or carts along the way. Try to get into an Express line if you can, but be sure to have about 4 dollars ready in hand. Once the cashier asks for your money hold it in your hand for approx 1 minute, or until the people behind you turn red with rage, before finally handing over the money. Now, get to the nearest working oven in whatever way seems best to you (make sure to take all ingredients = frozen pizza with you). Preheat the oven to about 400 degrees (F) before donning your oven mitts. Take the pizza out of all wrapping and place it onto the stone. Then, place the stone into the now preheated oven. Set the timer to 22 minutes if you like your pizza softer, 25-26 minutes if you want it crispy, 90+ minutes if you want to burn down the building you're in. While it's cooking pretend you're a chicken by putting on your oven mitts and dancing around (this is crucial to proper pizza cooking so be sure to DO IT). When the timer hits 0 turn off the oven and the timer and take out the stone with the pizza on it (please wear your oven mitts). Cut the pizza with your pizza cutter and dig in!
That is the culmination of all my years of culinary expertise. Enjoy!
