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Author: Villainess Vines
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A Very Villainess Christmas
It was getting to be that time of year again and I was doing my best to be as naughty as possible. I hope that the fat man (aka Santa Clause) would bring me another big batch of that special coal only found in that magical town of the north pole. I nearly laughed that he thinks he is punishing me with it. Little does he know that the coal he brings me every year actually fuels my powers of evil. I used to be sad when he brought me the coal, that is until one year when I was soo broke I ran out of money to buy my favorite charcoal eyeliner that I was reduced to using some of that damn coal did I find out that it had magical properties.
As soon as I put that coal on I could feel the magic it possessed . I went on my usual prowl to find some poor fool too busy with the holiday season to watch where he was going. I found my victim easily and as usual the fool was carrying too many packages I threw my entangling vines at him and tripped him to the ground usually my vines will only hold a few minutes but with that special coal on my eyes it lasted hours I mugged the guy took his presents to hock and got his wallet which was brimming with bills and got the hell out of there. The next morning on the Rogue Isles news I saw a breaking news flash and the poor fool was still trapped on the ground since last night. He had to be rescued using the jaws of life my vines did not want to let him go Muhhahah. He had to be taken to the hospital and treated for Hypothermia after spending the night in the cold. That was when I saw the potential of the coal.
I just hope the fat man brings me more this year than last year. It had lasted me the whole year I was down to one lump left and using it sparingly. I was so bad this year he had to bring me more. Sipping my eggnog it was time to start decorating for the event. I spent the whole year targeting heroes who had green or red capes and defeating them to steal them. I made myself Christmas decorations out of them. Nothing says Christmas like a banners of red and green capes made of my victories. I had only one thing left to do. I needed a tree. I think that I saw a nice one outside of the City hall in Atlas it was perfect already decorated by the citizens of Atlas Park. Some of those decorations would bring a pretty penny at the pawn shop after the holiday.
I got my coat and called Audrey (My Fly trap) and made my way to the Rogue Isles Ferry. The Streets were crowded with people and those stupid Winter Lords and their Frostlings. I had important business to take take of and those stupid things were on every corner. Audrey loves them so I gave in a couple times and gave her a snack. I always get the tricks from those presents they try to hoard maybe its because I am a true villain. I was almost on the ferry when I was hit in the back with a snowball. I turned to find some little punk grinning at me his arms filled with snowballs. I wasn't sure if he was serious or not until he hit me again this time in the face and that was it. I reached down into the snow bank on the left of the ferry dock and hammered that kid so full of snowballs he looked like Frosty the Snow mans long lost son and got on the ferry to Paragon City.
It was nearly midnight when I got to Paragon City. All those silly Heroes were tucked in bed waiting for the Fat man to bring them their new capes and gadgets and toys. It was tradition that on Christmas morning the citizens of Atlas would have a festive parade lead by Statesman and those other Freedom Phalanx fools taking them to City hall and to the famed Christmas tree I was about to steal. They would sing Carols and Eggnog would get passed around and after caroling they would go to the the great hall and a Christmas feast would be served with all the trimmings. I could not wait to see their reaction in the morning.
Audrey and I caught the tram into the heart of Atlas and to the famed Christmas tree I almost laughed when I saw that they only had a few of their Paragon Police and some Long Bow guarding the tree this was going to be a piece of cake. I got into position and hit the police with my seeds of confusion, they in turn turned to the long bow and started firing. when they had knocked each other out I went for the Long Bows helicopter I couldn't very well take the tram with that tree and attached it by rope to the helicopter . I took all the supposed guards and arranged them in a pyramid mocking the tree and used my vines to secure them and put a string of lights around them, I taped a note on them saying Merry Christmas from the Villains .
I hopped in the helicopter and took out my cell and contacted Mako my Patron. I told him what I had done and he was very pleased. I told him I planned to take the tree to Grandville and put it right in front of the Statue of Lord Recluse. He told me that would greatly please Lord Recluse. I also told him I was using a Long Bow helicopter so they would not shoot me down before I could deliver the tree. I started the helicopter and headed toward Grandville.
I arrived a little after 2 am with the tree in tow. Mako was waiting there with a group of minions to take the tree from me. I lowered the helicopter until the tree was nearly touching the ground and the minions cut the rope and got it set up and plugged it in. Mako then called Lord Recluse and he came down to see the Tree. Lord Recluse was pleased he would be sending the heroes a holiday message in the morning after they discover their tree missing Muhahhaha. After the stunt I just pulled the Fat Man will definitely be giving me more coal this year.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Isle not a Villain was sleeping and I just had to smile. I hung the stocking I stole from the hero the night before in hopes it would be heaping with coal to the floor. I snuggled up all warm in my bed with visions of villainy and mayhem in my head. When out on my lawn there arose such a clatter. I peeked out my blinds to see what was the matter. And there on the lawn in the dirt covered snow was the fat man with a large sack of coal in tow. I new in a moment I had completed my task. I would get enough coal to supply for all I could ask. I heard a clutter on my roof near my chimney. and with a thud my apartment shook at the weight of the coal he had given me. I watched from my blinds as he flew out of sight. I whipped open my window and screamed into the night a Villainous Christmas to all and to all a good fight!!!
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